Some Food for Thought

This is so not a normal blog entry. It's a jumble of my thoughts recently that may not make perfect sense or even be grammatically correct. With that being said, I think it raises some interesting points so read if you're intriuged!

I am so happy I have finally found the time to sit down and write this out. Life has been so chaotic in the best way recently. I'm a officially a college student and all moved into my dorm room! I also just rushed a sorority and finished my first week of classes! Long story short, it has been a pretty busy few weeks. I sat down to write this after listening to the news this morning. I was listening to an interview with the parents of Sgt. Nicole Gee, who lost her life in the Kabul suicide bombings. Nicole Gee died at 23 years old serving her country. 23. This story totally stopped me in my tracks this morning. Because here's the thing, the Taliban and American conflict has been the headline of the news for over two weeks now. I have mindlessly read the stories about the escalating conflict and increased evacuations but it wasn't until today that I placed meaning on the lives that have been lost there. Here was this young and vibrant women who had posted on her instagram only a week earlier who is now only with us in memory. Sometimes I forget that the death tolls you see on the news aren't numbers. We have become so desensitized to that fact. In the era of COVID we see a death toll every day. I find it fascinating how easy it is to get caught up in the day by day, when we know deep down that life could end at any moment. That's so cliche and honestly a bit morbid but read that last sentence back. It's so true. We get wrapped up in the social calendars and the job hunting and the where you want to be later in life. Please don't think I am using that death of an American soldier as a gateway to discussing the craziness of college living. Instead her death was the hammer to the wall that was hiding the real world.

So let me fill you in on where this entry is headed and what's to gain from reading it. I have been thinking about the new and exciting experiences of my first few weeks at college. I have met some super cool people and have had some really interesting classes. There are a lot of layers to going to college. It's very much over stimulating and full of newness and a lot of things to learn. With that being said, I feel like recently I have been very much thinking about only myself. Meaning, I am thinking about my dorm room, if those new girls like me, what outfit to wear, etc.. To an extent, I am simply taking care of myself and making sure I am best equipped for life on my own. However, there is also a level to which I feel that I got swept away from the real world. The capacity of the human mind to plan for the future is a unique gift. Unfortunately the mind, in its anxiety for us, tries to make plans for a huge number of possible futures, as a means to calm us from stress. This constant leapfrogging into the future is a waste of our mental and emotional energy. Therfore we spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. We get swept up in these false realities and distract ourselves from the harsh realities around us. I sometimes forget that there are soldiers dying for American freedom, I forget that my access to education is not shared by women around the world, I forget that my ability to hold open conversations about religion and politics is a freedom not given to all. We get distracted and that's ok. Our small problems and daily lives ARE important but life is a balance. I am writing this to remind myself and maybe you that there are a lot more issues to think about and experiences to live that expand far beyond the surface level lives we tend to live.

Like most people, I was and still am undoubtably caught up in the day by day. I'm very much a logistics person and I think out situations in my head to determine the best most logical path forward. But sometimes that results in too much thinking, it limits my capacity to embrace life for what it is: fleeting.

When I feel overwhelmed or overstressed about instances in my life, I like to look at the big picture. There are bigger things in this world than me. While I am important and worthy of self love and love from others I am simultaneously supposed to love and interpret the world around me. Yes, it's easier said than done but nonetheless true. I guess what I'm trying to say is we take our lives for granted. So how do we change that? There's no right answer, but I would say start by being open-minded. Look at the world and your surrounding with different perspectives. Remain grateful for the good things in your life and be purposeful in what you spend your time doing. Call your parents and tell them you love them. Talk to the kid on the elevator. Stop to pet the dog. Thoroughly listen to your friends problems. Look up at the trees when you go for a walk. Just let your mind rest. Detach yourself from the deceptive chaos that is most closely surrounding you. Because when you take a step back and relax. When we allow the mind to rest in the present, fully taking in the actual happening of that exact moment, we are able to gain perspective. Perspective. I think that was my point of spilling out this train of thought. It's ok to live in the near future and prioritize our own well beings. However, it is equally as important to exit our own realities and actively interact with the real moments of the world. It's important to ask questions and educate ourselves and formulate opinions.

So here's the summary: Our lives are invaluably important. However, often times we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We want people to like us and to do well in our classes and jobs. Along the way, we lose sight of the collective whole. We sometimes forget about the important stuff. We go on walks and talk to our friends about the drama of last night and forget that we have the gift of walking. We complain about the pages of reading homework while forgetting that we have the gift of literacy. I could go on and on but I don't want to be too confusing. Life is fleeting and it's important not to spend all our time living in our own worlds because by doing so we're missing out on the unfolding of the wonder around us.